It’s been a while since I lost my life for a brief period to Bridezillas. However after Lauren managed to watch the thing in under twenty four hours I’ve been reminded of its hypnotic powers. Not the slightly cheap second season onwards, but the terrifying first season — the one where they filmed actual Manhattan brides.
I’d always wondered how they managed to rope them in, as presumably the brides wouldn’t have signed up to be demonised, but apparently the project was originally titled “Manhattan Brides”, and framed as a documentary about the highly competitive Manhattan wedding circuit… the perfect way to attract perfectionist brides dreaming of spreads in InStyle. The key moments:
- “Wall street trader” Vanessa looking longingly at a diamond ring, batting her lashes at her fiance Dan and whispering, “but I love it so”… Equally gold was the interspersing of her walk down the aisle with shots of her pre-wedding training, and motto “pain is weakness leaving the body, pain is weakness leaving the body”.
- Cynthia’s attempts to maintain an image of struggling actress living while discussing her $100,000 wedding.
- Miho’s palpable hatred for fiance Joe, which actually seemed quite justified considering how irritating he was, particularly when riding his mid-life crisis scooter which for some reason he thought was rad. Actually, watching her various strategies to avoid kissing him crossed the line from hilarious to slightly devastating…
- The ridiculous $250,000 island wedding, where the bride was marrying a friend of her father’s, who bore an uncanny resemblance to her father except with an unfortunate sweat problem. Also notable: The fact they flew in a “Videographer” from Paris to capture the wedding, and the wedding planners’ walky talkies, e.g. “the cake has arrived, over“.
- Karen’s OCD tendencies revealing themselves at every stage of the wedding preparations, but particularly during the dress fittings, as well as her bizarre freak-out when her hair stylist covered her ear with hair, which for some reason touched a nerve.
- The dress shop lady who forgot to conceal her hatred for rich brides.
- Julia’s delusions of being a Princess and incessant self-talk. Would have been more amusing if her entire life’s savings weren’t being thrown into the wedding, which once again crossed the line to be really quite devastating.